a woman experiencing emotional trauma holds her head in her hands and looks distraught

Choosing Trauma

We complain about the trauma in our lives. We cry, as well we might, over the tragedies and misfortunes that have seemingly followed us through life – the bad marriage, the failed business, the troubled children, the poor communication with our families and with our peers, etc.

But does misfortune really follow us or do we choose to follow misfortune – unknowingly, blindly?


If tragedy is the familiar; if trauma existed as a possible daily event in our lives, in our homes of origin, do we gravitate towards that which is known and “safe” simply because it is familiar?

If chaos reigned in our early lives; if we believed ourselves “worthless” because we were told we were, in many ways, on many occasions, by our own parents, then is it not to be expected that we will, on some level, believe we are “worthless”? After all, that piece of information was planted very early and by someone we loved. How could they be wrong? Feeling “worthless” and “unlovable” becomes the norm. It is familiar, it is safe, and it stops us from examining our lives too deeply, from having to dig deeply into the early pain that accompanied the initial wounding.

If we have lived dark, unhappy, family of origin pattern-repetitive lives, there is a severe, profound hurting as we open the windows of our minds and souls to let in the light of change. Change is unfamiliar; happiness is an unknown; worthwhileness is a fear-ridden idea, for, if I am worthy I might have to do something different. Inner peace – what is that, we ask? What are the consequences of attaining serenity?

As we pause at the threshold of a new world, a new universe, we are terrified and often we revert back to that which is known and comfortable just because it is known.

We will discuss the phenomena of choice using the didactic technique and by using real stories that substantiate this theory. Overheads and other teaching aids will be utilized. Audience participation would be appreciated.

Together, we will explore ways to bridge the two universes – the known and the unknown – the comfortable and the uncomfortable. We will explore connections between the two worlds and go away, better equipped to understand our own and our clients’ dilemmas as we and they face change. Together, we will look at the very real possibility of Inner Peace becoming the norm for all of us.


Contact Betty Stockley for more information on counselling services or read more about our services here

Betty R. Stockley
Copyright 1997

0 0
Feed