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Looking at Our World Through Poetry: Place of Resolution

Come, My Beloved, Take my hand. Let us walk, together, On a voyage of exploration Through this - our home. Let us, within our house - Within our sanctuary, Engage, jointly, In the creation of a sacred place - A place of resolution Of reconciliation Of healing Of re-connectedness.

Let this be a place That exists in real time; That has its coordinates In measurable space; Let it be a place That our physical bodies Can touch; A place That we can see with our eyes. Thus, daily, we will be reminded, With our physical senses, Of our ‘intent to resolve’ differences In peace. Let us pledge To come to this area - To this sacred place Within our home, In the Spirit of Reconciliation. Yes, My Dear One, In the Spirit of Creation, I take your extended hand. I ask, too, that you take my hand, As we, together, Choose a physical space Within our home - A place where we resolve to commune, Always, In the Spirit of Peace. I concur with your vision, In trust And with love. But, let us ever remember That this place Exists, too, In our hearts Minds And souls. That, which we, today, create With our physical bodies, We can create, also, With our minds. No matter how far From our home, we may travel, Let us each carry, within us, An image of our ‘Place of Reconciliation’. Let this place be a symbol Of our joined purpose. Come, My Beloved, Let us make of this space, A place Where we can bring our differences; Our difficulties; Any seemingly Irreconcilable issues That may arise between us; Our disappointments With the world; And, yes, even sometimes, Our disappointments With each other. There will be conflict between us; Such is inevitable. We will disagree, at times, For we are human. But, we can resolve to discuss To table our differences To voice our individual opinions To work towards solutions At this - Our Place of Resolution. Let us, together, move to this space Whenever we feel That we will argue in a way That may negate the Spirit of our Love. Let us hold aside our anger. Rather, let us make use Of certain of our business skills To navigate To understand The emotional terrain Of our relationship. Let us never be afraid To say, one to the other, “I am vulnerable; I hurt; Please hold me; Please hear me. Let us, today, Pledge that, that cry, From the depths of our hearts, Will never go unheard By either of us. Let us make written notes Of the issues Of the points That we wish to discuss. Thus, we can, more clearly More objectively More kindly More logically, Present our individual points of view. In this way, we can more calmly Present the perceptions, Individual and unique, That we each bring To a given situation. Let us vow, “Never to forget the logical In the possible ‘Illogical of any given moment’.” Yes, My Dear One, With Love, I agree. My soul My heart My mind Answer with a resounding, “yes” To this method of further Honoring and respecting Our commitment, Each to the other. Let us resolve, too, To also use this Place of Resolution As a ‘Point of Remembrance’ Of all that is good and noble Between us. I Promise, always, To look into my heart Mind And soul; To engage in honest self-examination Of my own thoughts Motives Deeds. This self-examination, I know, you too, Will do. Let us remember, always, That our respective feelings Are always true Are always valid. Let us remember That we come, in honesty, To our feelings From the contextual And perceptual frameworks That we bring to this relationship - To this, our marriage. Let us remember That our individual perceptions May not, always, be based Upon concrete reality; That even though your perception Of the moment May differ radically from my perception, That neither of us Is, thereby, Automatically, wrong or bad. Let us remember To always honor; To ever vow to try to understand The perceptions And the feelings Of the other. May we, too, Each, resolve to keep Our minds open, Ready to learn, Each, from the other. Let us resolve To listen; To honor; To make adaptations Based on the situation; Based on the reality of the world Within our home; And on the reality Within the greater world we inhabit. And, My Beloved, Let us remember, always, Our great love, Each, for the other. When we are tempted to argue, To fight with unreason, To disagree, with anger, Let us recall That we often treat our co-workers And our friends, With courtesy, Even in the midst Of widely differing viewpoints. Although we deeply love Each, the other, We may, at times, Be tempted to take That love for granted. Let us use the presence Of our “Place of Resolution” As a concrete reminder; As a visible shrine To remind us, ever, To treat each other With even greater respect With even greater courtesy With even greater empathy Than that with which we treat those In the world External to our home. My Dear One, I know you in a more profound; In a more intimate way Than does any other living soul. And, you, You know me, in this way, too. Sometimes, When we are hurt By the onslaughts of life; When we are frazzled; When we are torn asunder By our individual pain, We may well be tempted To use illogic To be cruel To take out, One, on the other, The hurt that bedevils us. Let us remember, always, That the insults We might be tempted to use, One, to the other, Are soul-threatening arrows - Arrows more pointed; More barbed; Their tips Imbued with that special poison That flows From our greater knowledge Of each other. If we are thus tempted, Let us resolve, always, To go apart a while; To seek a place Of individual solace, Until we can Ponder how very deeply; How very unfairly, We each could wound the other. Yes, My Beloved, I have shared with you, My most intimate woundings; My most secret embarrassments; My darkest, deepest fears; I have shown you wounds That I have never shown another. Not even my own parents Know me, as you do. I agree with you That we have revealed much, Each of us, To the other, In the spirit of deep intimacy Of true sharing Of sacred trust. May we resolve, never, ever, To betray that most sacred trust - That trust we have deposited, Each, in the other. And, My Dear One, Throughout all our days, together, Let us Resolve to continue In that constancy of shared trust. Let us resolve, never, ever, To betray the other, Not even in the sanctity Of our own home, For this should be The safest refuge - The most sacred place of all. If we ever feel tempted, To trample that safety To besmirch that sanctity, Let us resolve To step aside; To think with empathy; To step inside the mind and heart Of the other; To feel the pain That our words would bring. And then, In trust, Let us walk, hand in hand, To the “Place of Resolution” Of Reconciliation Of Reconnectedness. Betty R. Stockley Copyright 2001

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